trying to convince myself that my life hasn’t stopped, that everything will be fine here and now. I’m trying to catch that good wave before I move on to the wide waters and a new life.

I try to find the good things, but there is more shit and my life is going downhill and I am fed up with a system without a system where human rights are more important than the peace and security of people… and I don’t feel safe and calm, maybe others do…
I keep remembering that conversation with the social worker, and I just felt disgusted and the urge to scold and prove my point came up again, but then let’s turn it around and if there’s a disturbance across the border you don’t call the police…. I DON’T believe it.

but that’s another language, a language in which I will be angry. I don’t want that